Motherhood
Being a mother
We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of 'starting a family. ''We're taking a survey,' she says, half-joking. 'Do you think I should have a baby?
''It will change your life,' I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. 'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations....
'But that is not what I meant at all.
I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking 'What if that had been MY child?' That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to a primitive level of abear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
She might arrange for child care but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep her from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room.
However she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch mar ks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change,but not in the way she thinks..I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and
drunk driving.
I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the
threat of nuclear war to my children's future.
I want to describe to my daughter the
exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is
touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
' You'll never regret it,' I finally say.
Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent
prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way
into this most wonderful of callings.
This blessed gift from God!Being a Mother.
Sorry, all the pics are actually in reverse order, but oh well! This is basically our December, consists of Maya's dance recital, Simone's first tooth, Build a Bear, visiting Santa and Christmas at home and in MI. I have tons more, but this is as good as it gets for now.
Maya got to go to Build A Bear. She wanted the "Ariel" dress up outfit for her bear of course. She wanted to be silly and wear the wig herself.
Simone above opening up a X-mas present at Grandma's in MI. Below, her and daddy fooling around.
Maya got a Belle dress up dress. I think this is the only one she does not have. Actually she still needs Jasmine to finalize the whole princess dress up collection.:)
Here is my little Simoney Bologney! She is 7 months old!
Maya with Santa Claus. We visit him and Mrs. Claus every year downtown Crystal Lake in their cute little house. It was very cold, but the good thing was, not a long line at all! As you can see, she LOVES santa!
Simone got her first tooth right before we headed to MI for X-mas!
Maya's teacher from last year stopped by to say "hi"!
We went to Noodles for dinner and then came home and watched a movie. I forgot the name of it, but I fell asleep, I was too tired.
Simone is still just eating baby cereal. I have not tried out baby food yet. I think she is breaking out from the oatmeal cereal, her face gets all red and blotchy as soon as she eats it, so back to the plain rice cereal. We will start her on other stuff soon! She is a grunter, loves to eat and once its in her mouth she starts to make this funny growling sound!
Maya sitting pretty in pink, with her new pink glasses on!
Simone 5 months old, such a cutie pie!
